Halloween Jokes

Halloween Jokes

1. What did Dr. Spook give the witch who had a sore throat?
Answer: Coffin Drops

2. What do Ghost’s wear when their eye sight is failing?
Answer: Spookicles

3. How do you make a witch stew?
Answer: Make her wait!

4. What do lady ghosts put on their skin?
Answer: Vanishing lotion

5. What do you get when you cross a witch with an iceberg?
Answer: A cold spell

6. How do bats learn to fly?
Answer: They take batting lessons.

7. If you worked in a mortuary, what would you call your free time?
Answer: Coffin Break

8. Why do skeletons always catch a cold?
Answer: the get chilled to the bone.

9. What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
Answer: Necktarines

Tombstone Quotes to Make You Giggle

Bonnie Parker (Bonnie and Clyde): “As the flowers are all made sweeter by the sunshine and the dew, so this old world is made brighter by the lives of folks like you.”

Tombstone Arizona: “Here lies Lester Moore; Four slugs from a .44; No Les No More.

Pennsylvania Tombstone, US: “Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.”

England Tombstone: “The children of Israel wanted bread and the Lord sent them manna. Old Clerk Wallace wanted a wife…and the Devil sent him Anna.”

Massachusetts Tombstone: “Under the sod and under the trees, lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there’s only the pod. Pease shelled out and went to God.”

Dentists’ Tombstone: “John Brown is filling his last cavity.”